Image via Complex Original
If there's anything we've learned from the Men In Black franchise, it's that no human being is who they physically seem to be. Agent J (Will Smith) and Agent K (Tommy Lee Jones) have shown us that with the right probing (pause), you can expose any suspect's alien identity.
We decided to unmask some humanoids ourselves and, given Lady Gaga's cameo in Men In Black III, out tomorrow, we're starting with famous female species. With the help of our imaginative art department, here are a few ideas about what some celebrity women would look like as aliens.
Tilda Swinton
Actress Tilda Swinton has more archetypal alien characteristics than human ones: extremely wideset eyes, a triangular face, narrow lips, and a pale, androgynous physique. Plus, she has the kind of voice perfect for narrating sci-fi flicks and the kind of stare that makes you feel like she's telepathically whispering into your soul.
If her appearance isn't convincing enough, we'll refer you to her film Teknolust, in which she recreates versions of herself with her own DNA, one of which we assume is managing @NotTildaSwinton. The Twitter account has amassed over 20,000 followers in just three days. Coincidence or mental manipulation?
Lil Kim
Sure, we could chock up Lil' Kim's physical transformation to insecurity about growing older and having to compete with new female talent, but it's probably not that simple. With her frozen cheeks and perpetually amused eyebrows, Lil Kim might just be struggling to stay human-looking nowadays. As evidenced by her increasingly lighter skin, she simply can't fight the fact that she's molting.
Karolina Kurkova
The Victoria's Secret alien is so hot that she can't be of this world, and she literally might not be. Just Google "Karolina Kurkova bellybutton" and you'll get conflicting photos of Kurkova with and without a navel, the supreme signifier of humanness.
The truth is, she actually doesn't have one. When she strutted down the Victoria's Secret runway in Miami in 2008, viewers were shocked to see Kurkova's perfectly smooth stomach. Her reps say that she had an operation as infant, but we think they're just covering up that fact that she's actually the female Kyle XY.
Lady Gaga
At this point, no one would be shocked if Lady Gaga's next red carpet stunt is pulling off her human face. From birthing herself from an egg during the Grammys to growing horns in her video for "Born this Way," all signs point to alien when it comes to Gaga. Hell, even her Men in Black 3 co-star Will Smith said he "wouldn't be surprised at all if Lady Gaga were an alien" and he's a former Scientologist.
Anne Heche
Anne Heche is infamous for her alien encounter. In 2000, Heche was discovered wandering around Fresno, California in nothing but a bra and shorts after reportedly knocking on a stranger's door to ask about a gateway to outer space. When Barbara Walters asked about her bizarre breakdown, Heche admitted that she created another personality for herself in her mid-20s named Celestia, Jesus Christ's half-sister who was from the fourth dimension and could see into the future. We couldn't make that up if we tried.
