What Your Winter Jacket Says About You

Image via Complex Original

It’s easy to assume that you’re Bear Grylls if you’re wearing a neon-hued parka boasting reflective stripes, geographically inclined badges, and no less than fourteen pockets. But if you’re living in a city or the ’burbs, it’s a good idea to tone it down a bit. Choose a heavy-duty parka in a shade or print that’s easy to wear, with a socially acceptable number of pockets. Now when people see you they’ll think less 30 Days of Night and more like you’re an equipped individual who knows his way around a weather app.

This might not be your most exciting purchase ever, but with restraint comes maturity. We’re not talking about the kind of maturity that saddles you with a dadbod and a midsize sedan; think more like modern-day Kanye vs. pink polo Kanye. This topper will polish up any jogger-and-sneaker combo for an essential piece you’ll end up layering over everything this winter. 

This look simultaneously says you care too much and too little. Thanks for having a sense of humor and all, but no thanks for rubbing everyone’s face in the fact that you choose to spend a G on a vest that could double as a Where The Wild Things Are Halloween costume. Ultimately, this look is a trend and it makes you look silly, bruh.

Some guys can really pull off this look. These individuals include: indie band members, freelance illustrators, vintage matchbook collectors, and art students. If you’re ready to go all in, wear this with some Chelsea boots and well-tailored pants. If you’re at all timid about the toggle, simpler options, include top or pea coat styles. 

Way to put yourself out there. If you’re wearing a poncho-inspired blanket today, this slow clap is for you. What does it say about you? It depends on how you wear it. If it’s the perfect compliment to your beard and Nike x Pendleton collabs, you’ve gone too far. If you’re pairing it with some minimal kicks, slim pants, and a ton of confidence, then you do you because this look says you’re about to get street styled for all the right reasons. 

Once mankind discovered it could add down to any garment, we ran with it. "Pick what you’d like quilt-ified and it shall be done!” cried the Mickey Drexlers of the world. To avoid looking like you’re overdoing the whole “it’s cold [crosses arms]” gesture, use this layer sparingly. For example, don’t layer your quilted pieces or wear them like they are actual shirts without anything underneath. Ultimately, this look says you’re cold and you have style—just don’t overdo it. 

Sporting this classic item is all about balance. It doesn’t mix well with boat shoes, popped collars, embroidered pants, or really anything else the cast of Southern Charm would deem “classic.” It depends on the person, but retro tennis silos or a vintage graphic sweatshirt underneath gets our vote. 

If you’re not an alpine athlete or currently exploring the backcountry, the common misconception is that you don’t need that much technology on your back. But when you’re weather, wind, and sweat-proof on the nastiest winter days, it’s kind of OK to take yourself that seriously, right? You look like a Silicon Valley nerd that would’ve worn FiveFingers a few years ago, but if you’re totally fine with that sacrifice then so are we. 

You, my friend, are a responsible guy. This lightweight essential is great for layering and easy to wear if you've picked the right understated hue. Wear it with tees, V's, or collared shirts for your go-to outerwear this winter.