10 Things You Should Never Wear in Your Online Dating Profile Photo

Image via Complex Original

Sarongs on a man are so wrong for so many reasons. Man skirts may be well within the style realm of fashion gods like Marc Jacobs and Kanye West, but the sarong is just egregious, especially if it's the first thing a woman sees you in. Cultural appropriation aside, a thigh-baring beach cover-up puts a premature a wrap on your online dating career.

Save that for after she consents to seeing you naked.

Extra bad if it’s a head-to-toe costume that hides what you look like completely. I know Halloween is around the corner and you want to, but don’t.

Let’s be honest, women aren’t flocking to guys whose occupations require them to wear name tags, so let’s not advertise the fact that you stock groceries for a living. Not that dudes who work at Duane Reade and Radio Shack are out of luck when it comes to dating, but when girls admit to liking men in uniform, this is not what they mean. If your job requires you to wear a branded polo shirt, perhaps consider a profile pic of how you dress when you're not clocked in.

Fedora hatred is cliché for a reason.

I don’t care what country you’re from or how "jet-setter" you think a Speedo makes you look. Grape-smuggling swimwear is an absolute no-no.

Making your crotch the main focus of your profile picture is never the move. No woman finds that shit attractive. It’s humorous at best, but in a laughing at you, not with you kind of way. There's nothing wrong with printed underwear, but skivvies that make a joke of your dong aren't doing you any favors, sexual or otherwise.

This is a no win situation. Either your car/bike/tractor is unimpressive, or your car is way too impressive and you look like an arrogant douche. Women want to date you, not your ride. Guys who post photos with their vehicles are usually the type who are super attached to them, and name them after a girl. No self-respecting lady wants to be the second-most important woman in your life.

Those ugly reflective glasses that corny white guys, dads, and cops like to wear should be banned from all dating profile photos. Would it kill you to get a pared-down pair of Wayfarers? 

You might think you’re scoring sensitivity brownie points with your infant nephew on your lap, but in reality you’re just scaring off girls who don’t want men with kids (or baby mama drama, for that matter). Also if you do have kids, that’s something that should be discovered through conversation, not a profile picture.