The Five Times Phil Jackson Proved He Has No Idea What He's Doing

Phil Jackson claims he knows what he's doing with the Knicks but we show you how that couldn't be further from the truth.

Phil Jackson
USA Today Sports

Image via Noah K. Murray/USA Today Sports

Phil Jackson

As a lifelong Knicks fan who has gone to bat on this here website for Phil Jackson before, I am finally ready to renounce my fandom once and for all if he decides to trade Kristaps Porzingis. If that happens, I don't plan on coming back even if Phil gets fired because this is an organizational problem. I'll return only when James Dolan sells the team, so I'll probably never be a Knicks fan again.

It's been a sad day in the Diaz household, ladies and gents, as rumors have swirled that Phil has been trying to outdo his usual shenanigans, trying to deal the future, KP.

Jackson keeps talking this triangle offense jargon but signed Derrick Rose, called 3-pointers by a seven-footer cheap, signed Carmelo Anthony to a five-year deal with a no-trade clause, then tries to trade him, gave Joakim Noah a bank, is now trying to trade the best Knicks draft pick in ages, and allegedly fell asleep during a draft workout recently. Phil would much rather be on peyote in a Montana cabin. Below we break down the five times Phil Jackson has proven he has no idea what he's doing.

Phil Is Obsessed With the Triangle

Phil Jackson is a stubborn old man, stuck in his ways. He would rather use some antiquated piece instead of a gas-powered chainsaw. This is what the triangle offense is in today’s NBA: old and worthless. The triangle takes forever to set up and today’s game is too fast to run that type of offense in it’s original incarnation. He should look to the Warriors and the Spurs of how to incorporate triangle principles in 2017 NBA. While every other team at the top is running and gunning, the Knicks will be walking the ball up the court and getting into halfcourt sets. They’ll be force-feeding Porzingis in the post because he can’t be taking cheap, wide open 3-point shots in Phil’s town. Who does KP think he is? Dirk Nowitzki?

Re-Signed Carmelo Anthony

I’m not sure why Phil signed Melo to an enormous deal with a no-trade clause three summers ago, and then turned around and tried to run him out of town this past season. Shit, he’s still on this schtick. Yesterday, while being interviewed by Madison Square Garden mouthpiece, Al Trautwig, Jackson suggested it’s time for Melo to find a new situation since they’re trying to go younger by trading their 22-year old lottery pick from two years ago. However, Anthony has turned the tables on Phil and has gone full troll by insisting he doesn’t want to play in any other city. So, essentially, Phil devalued Melo’s worth by his tweets and his comments to the media, which made Melo want to stay even more. Phil is a genius.

Carmelo Anthony walks off the court in disgust.

Signed a Broken, Washed Up in the Spin Cycle Joakim Noah To a Long and Expensive Contract

Phil thought he was wheeling and dealing last off-seaon when he signed Noah to a four-year, $72 million contract to play alongside his former teammate Derrick Rose. The contract was absurd the day he signed it, and moreso when he got suspended for PEDs and had to get shoulder surgery. The Knicks won’t be able to trade him for ham sandwich and will likely be stuck with his contract for it’s duration. Red Auerbach is laughing in heaven at Phil's incompetence as a GM.

Trying to Trade the Unicorn Kristaps Porzingis

Trying to trade Porzingis on purpose would be a fireable offense on any other competent franchise in the league, but this is the Knicks we’re talking about. The reason he's thinking about trading a 21-year-old coming off an 18 point, seven rebound, and two blocks a game year is because KP blew off his exit meeting; something, Phil said he hasn't seen in his 30 years of coaching. And that's not even true. Shaq blew one off during his Lakers days. James Dolan’s idea of being hands off is letting Phil run a show that will only alienate free agents in the future. Sounds like a sound strategy to me. 

Falling Asleep During A Workout

Yes, you heard that right. Yesterday, former player and current ESPN basketball analyst Jay Williams told us that a top 15 prospect told him Phil Jackson was nodding off during his workout. This doesn’t bode well for a man whose willingness to do everything that comes with being president of basketball operations when he took the gig. The Knicks as an organization are looking as shaky as they’ve ever been. That’s saying a lot. Why would anybody want to play for this franchise? Crazy how the NBA’s most valuable team will also be it’s most shittiest. Dolan and his boys are giving the Kings a run for their money.

Phil is senile, folks.

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