Here's the bad news: According to the NCAA, only 1.7 percent of college football players go on to the pros. For basketball, that figure falls to 1.2 percent for men and 0.9 percent for women. The good news: If you can't be an athlete, you can still be an athletic supporter. These wise words from Grease serve those well who have more hoop dreams than talent (which is literally 99 percent of us).
The players are obviously the most visible component, but it takes much more than them to pull off the spectacle of professional sporting events. From being a part of pregame entertainment on a drumline, to washing and repairing uniforms, you can be an MVP with no hops and no college degree. Here are a few odd jobs that won't make you a millionaire, but will still put you close to the action.
Everbank Field Swimming Pool Lifeguard
The Gist: Break in footballs for the QB. (Insert Deflategate joke here.)
Salary: Varies widely, though the range is $75,147-$96,892
The Los Angeles Rams bestow the title of master of game ball; other teams use the less pretentious title of equipment manager. Regardless of what you call them, someone goes through the process of taking footballs, which are all different due to being handmade with real leather, and preparing them for play. Can you scrub a football? Then you might be able to do this gig.
Horse Mascot Handler
Atlanta Hawks Organist
Team Chaplain
Professional Fan
The Gist: Dive for balls that lost to hazardous waters
Salary: $50,000-$100,000
Turns out golf-ball diving is a $200 million business. This explains why some courses hire divers to salvage and refurbish sunken balls for resale. Oh yeah, just watch out for water snakes, alligators, snapping turtles, and muskrats.
Hockey Ice Maintenance
The Gist: Keep the grass pretty
Salary: Average of $65,000/year
A turf manager keeps the "sporting pitch" ready for use, be it artificial turf, grass fields, clay courts, etc. Many schools and universities offer four-year programs or certificates in turf management, but most positions are simply known as groundskeepers.
Fenway Park Scoreboard Operator
The Gist: In-game gopher
Salary: Minimum wage
Towel boys run a variety of errands, including picking up beverage cups and warm-ups suits, and washing towels. They probably got LeBron that cup of coffee he was sipping on the sideline the last time the Cavs played the Clippers.
UFC Cutman
The Gist: Ride horses on non-game days and prepare for jockeys
Salary: Median is $50, 691
The animals are the real athletes in horse racing, and someone has to get them ready to run. This job requires being attuned to a horse's well-being, simulating the various parts of race day, and communicating with jockeys and trainers. It only calls for a high school diploma, but it takes years to master.
Purrrcussion drumline
The Gist: Help catchers warm up
Salary: Just under six figures
If you don't mind catching about 200 pitches per day, then you can do this job, where you show up to the ballpark hours before games begin for batting practice.