Brett Favre Wants to Help You "Get Your Groom Back", Realizes He Let Himself Go

Brett Favre wants to help you "get your groom back".

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Complex Original

Image via Complex Original

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Brett Favre is now comfortably retired, having hung up his helmet four seasons ago. But is the former Green Bay great perhaps a little too comfortable? Well, you don't have to ask us. In his latest commercial for Micro Touch Grooming, which you can watch above, Favre will tell you himself. 

"Thinking back to all those years I played in the NFL, I was constantly in the spotlight and always perfectly groomed," said Favre. "But since I retired, I kinda let myself grow."

Sensing a dire need for change in his life, Favre unsaddles from his tractor, enters his Mississippi home, and steps into the bathroom to inspect the damage rendered from years of facial neglect. 

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Are we supposed to recoil in terror at Favre's unseemly grey beard? Should we share his mild dissatisfaction? It's unclear.

But such are the commercial opportunities for a professional athlete after the limelight has faded. The Wrangler days are over. We no longer know Brett Favre: professional quarterback. We can only see Brett Favre: hairy, old man. Worse yet, a hairy, old man whose only mission in life is "to get his groom back". 

*looks up at signed no. 4 jersey hanging on bedroom wall, sobs* 

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