The Worst Nicknames in NBA History

Image via Complex Original

Player: John Salley
Team(s): Detroit Pistons, Miami Heat, Toronto Raptors, Chicago Bulls, Los Angeles Lakers
Career: 1986-2000
Stats: 7.0 PPG, 4.5 RPG, 1.1 APG

Kevin Durant getting the nickname "The Durantula" only exacerbates how boring and effortless the nickname Salley received was. Salley was an average player who probably didn't deserve a nickname, but he probably doesn't mind with four championships to his name.

Player: Craig Ehlo
Team(s): Houston Rockets, Cleveland Cavaliers, Atlanta Hawks, Seattle Supersonics
Career: 1983-1997
Stats: 8.6 PPG, 3.6 RPG, 2.6 APG

Is there anything worse than being named after food? It's great and all, but Ehlo surely can't enjoy being remembered for something very unmemorable.

Player: Jerome "Pooh" Richardson
Team(s): Minnesota Timberwolves, Indiana Pacers, Los Angeles Clippers
Career: 1989-2000
Stats: 11.1 PPG, 2.8 RPG, 6.5 APG

Pooh Richardson had a solid NBA career as a starting guard with Minnesota, Indiana, and Los Angeles. We can only imagine how many people thought of "Poo" when they heard his name rather than seeing it spelled out.

Player: Steve Francis
Team(s): Houston Rockets, Orlando Magic, New York Knicks
Career: 1999-2008
Stats: 18.1 PPG, 5.6 RPG, 6.0 APG

If you demand a trade before even setting foot on an NBA court, then you better be the Franchise. Francis was solid making a couple of All-Star appearances, but the Rockets later on figured out that Yao Ming was "the Franchise" of the future.

Player: Marcin Gortat
Team(s): Orlando Magic, Phoenix Suns, Washington Wizards
Career: 2007-Present
Stats: 8.7 PPG, 7.0 RPG, 0.7 APG

There is nothing physically imposing about a gazelle no matter where the gazelle can be found. Maybe Gortat can find a new nickname fo himself as he moves on to the Washington Wizards.

Player: Shaquille O'Neal
Team(s): Orlando Magic, Los Angeles Lakers, Miami Heat, Phoenix Suncs, Cleveland Cavaliers, Boston Celtics
Career: 1992-2011
Stats: 23.7 PPG, 10.9 RPG, 2.5 APG

Shaq has had many great nicknames during his time in the NBA but the Big Cactus was not one of them. That nickname was as short as his tenure in Phoenix. 

Player: Ruben Patterson
Team(s): Los Angeles Lakers, Seattle Supersonics, Portland Trail Blazers, Denver Nuggets, Milwaukee Bucks, Los Angeles Clippers
Career: 1999-2007
Stats: 10.7 PPG, 4.2 RPG, 1.8 APG

In this case, men lie, women lie, numbers don't. Obviously numbers will be skewed because Patterson didn't guard Kobe every possession, but Bryant averaged 29.3 PPG on 44% shooting in head-to-head matchups against Patterson throughout their careers. 

Player: Billy Paultz
Team(s): San Antonio Spurs, Houston Rockets, Atlanta Hawks, Utah Jazz
Career: 1976-1985
Stats: 8.5 PPG, 5.6 RPG, 1.6 APG

What are we talking about? Burgers?!

Player: Bob Love
Team(s): Cincinnati Royals, Milwaukee Bucks, Chicago Bulls, New York Nets, Seattle Supersonics
Career: 1966-1977
Stats: 17.6 PPG, 5.9 RPG, 1.4 APG

The boxer with the same nickname makes more sense. Love had that nickname because of his love for the legumes? Kind of wack.

Player: Daniel Gibson
Team(s): Cleveland Cavaliers
Career: 2006-2013
Stats: 7.8 PPG, 2.0 RPG, 2.0 APG

Daniel "Boobie" Gibson had an explosive rookie year, where his nickname became a popular topic. Can anyone imagine people constantly using his random nickname back and forth in conversation? It just sounds weird.

Player: Jameer Nelson
Team(s): Orlando Magic
Career: 2004-Present
Stats: 12.6 PPG, 3.1 RPG, 5.2 APG

Dwight Howard gave Jameer Nelson this nickname, but let's be honest. Dwight was never good with words.

Player: Ben Gordon
Team(s): Chicago Bulls, Detroit Pistons, Charlotte Bobcats
Career: 2004-Present
Stats: 15.9 PPG, 2.6 RPG, 2.7 APG

In hindsight, this has to be one of the more shortsighted and ludicrous nicknames ever given to anyone. Gordon did win the Sixth Man of the Year during his rookie season and has had some great moments, but "Air Gordon" is just simply blasphemy.

Player: Darnell "Bimbo" Coles
Team(s): Miami Heat, Golden State Warriors, Atlanta Hawks, Cleveland Cavaliers, Boston Celtics
Career: 1990-2004
Stats: 7.8 PPG, 2.1 RPG, 3.9 APG

How did Bimbo Coles survive school with that name?

Player: John Williams
Team(s): Washington Bullets, Los Angeles Clippers, Indiana Pacers
Career: 1986-1995
Stats: 10.1 PPG, 5.1 RPG, 2.9 APG

Unlike Lafayette "Fat" Lever, John "Hot Plate" Williams got his nickname because of his girth. Williams got that name because of his namesake who played in the NBA during the same period with the nickname "Hot Rod." You know it's bad when you get suspended for being overweight.

Player: Lafayette Lever
Team(s): Portland Trail Blazers, Denver Nuggets, Dallas Mavericks
Career: 1982-1994
Stats: 13.9 PPG, 6.0 RPG, 6.2 APG

Lafayette "Fat" Lever got his name, not because of his weight but because his brother had trouble pronouncing his name. Lever was putting up some "fat" statistics throughout his career though. He was a triple-double machine. Do the knowledge.

Player: Sasha Vujacic
Team(s): Los Angeles Lakers, New Jersey Nets
Career: 2004-2011
Stats: 5.6 PPG, 1.9 RPG, 1.3 APG

The Machine should only be given to players who can score in double figures on a regular basis. Not average bench players who can barely survive being on an NBA team.

Player: Harold Miner
Team(s): Miami Heat, Cleveland Cavaliers
Career: 1992-1996
Stats: 9.0 PPG, 2.2 RPG, 1.2 APG

Baby Jordan? That's what Harold Miner got as a nickname for his college prowess, but failed to live up to the hype and pressure that comes with such a nickname and winning two Slam Dunk Contests.

Player: Joe Barry Carroll
Team(s): Golden State Warriors, Houston Rockets, New Jersey Nets, Denver Nuggets, Phoenix Suns
Career: 1980-1983; 1985-1991
Stats: 17.7 PPG, 7.7 RPG, 1.8 APG

There's nothing worse than being dogged out by the media for being a lazy player who just doesn't care. Imagine how Carroll would be viewed in this intense media filled NBA analysis world that is very "ringzzzzzz" centric.

Player: Dwyane Wade
Team(s): Miami Heat
Career: 2003-Present
Stats: 24.6 PPG, 5.1 RPG, 6.1 APG

Self-proclaimed nicknames are always a bad idea. Dwyane Wade decided last year to name himself WOW (World of Wade). Luckily, the King LeBron James decided to stop that hot mess of a nickname.