Former NBA Players Are Starring in a Play Called "Penis Monologue Symposium"

We're not kidding.

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Image via Complex Original
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Sooooooo…Here's a question that we never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever thought we would ask: Do you want to go see a bunch of former NBA players perform in a play called Penis Monologue Symposium? Ha. Okay, okay. Don't all raise your hands at once!

This is a real thing that's really happening, though. On Sunday night, Kenny Anderson, Anthony Mason, Chris Gatling, and other former NBA players will star in Penis Monologue Symposium, a play that is modeled after the wildly successful Vagina Monologues play that debuted about two decades ago. It'll feature guys talking about, well, their penises and—according to the shoddy website that has been set up for the play—it will also feature "special guest appearances by NBA All-star Legends" that "will add to the paradigm of how celebrity penis' [sic] make so much money and end up broke." At least one of the "NBA All-star Legends" is super excited about it, too:

Penis monologues come check it out ,July 7 at Producers Theater at 6
I have some interesting things to say about my life its a spend off to my book" Instruction Not Included"
Its will be myself Chris Gatling ,Tate George ,Anthony mason ,penis monologue July 7

And that doesn't appear to be all. In addition to starring in Penis Monologue Symposium, the NBA players are also interested in creating a new reality TV show called Basketball Lives (see what they did there?) with Penis Monologue Symposium director Joe Brown. The show hasn't been picked up by a network yet. But there is a rinky-dink outline of what the show would include if it was picked up. It's located over here on foreclosuresflipsandrealestatetips.com (WTF?), which leads us to believe that there's absolutely no way it's actually going to get made.

So who's in? Penis Monologue Symposium on Sunday night? C'mon! What a way to cap off a great Fourth of July weekend!

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[via SB Nation]

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