Today is a good great day, because I finally get to use the pee tag in a post for the first time this year. On Tuesday night's Late Show, Stephen Colbert—in honor of his special Russia Week festivities—invited viewers along for an MTV Cribs-style tour of the hotel suite where Drumpf allegedly enjoyed a golden showers performance back in 2013.
"For the past six months, people have been talking a lot about alleged activities involving Donald Trump in the Ritz-Carlton presidential suite in Moscow," Colbert said, holding a hotel key card in his hand. "I've been thinking, why didn't somebody just go and look in the room? So I did. I rented it." Fuck yeah.
"This is a beautiful crystal vase depicting, I believe, the allegation that's in the dossier," Colbert joked.
Later in the tour, Colbert noted the ironic view from the suite's window. "That's the Kremlin," he said. "They include a telescope, in case you want to return the favor. Come on, Vlad. Put on a shirt."
Our gracious host also reminded viewers that the Ritz-Carlton, despite the nature of the golden allegations, most certainly prefers that guests utilize the in-room toilets for all your urination needs.
For those into giving this whole urolagnia thing a try, good for you. The urine riffing of Colbert (and others) isn't so much a mockery of the act itself, but of the very thought of an eventual POTUS allegedly employing a golden showers performance in some sort of effort to stick it to Obama. What an insecure little man Drumpf is.
Speaking of Obama, Keegan-Michael Key also popped in on Tuesday's Late Show to bring noted Obama anger translator Luther out of retirement to trash that aforementioned insecure little man. Enjoy: