Twitter Couldn't Help But Roast These Totally Nude Pics of Orlando Bloom

'New York Daily News' published some nude snaps of Orlando Bloom at the beach and Twitter imploded.

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Image via Complex Original
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Of all the ways to get roasted by total strangers on Twitter, this is certainly one of them. Orlando Bloom was enjoying a presumably wonderful day at an Italian beach with Katy Perry earlier this week when some sleuths copped photos of the relaxing excursion and shared them with the New York Daily News. The focal point of these photos? Well, um, that honor belongs to Bloom's naval companion:

View this video on YouTube

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As you can see, Bloom had a tremendous day on the water. So tremendous, in fact, that the practice of wearing clothing was simply not in the cards. Commendable! Inspiring even. Why do humans even bother wearing clothes anyway? So constricting!

But, hey, you know Twitter had to get some jokes off:

-check out Orlando Bloom photo
-think, "Wow. He's not even erect yet"
-realize I focused on the word "yet"
-learn a little about myself

— Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) August 4, 2016

Sees "Orlando Bloom" trending...
Me: "A new Pirates of the Caribbean movie?!?"
*clicks*
Me: pic.twitter.com/UnNHAfVl1e

— MatPat (@MatPatGT) August 4, 2016

I PROPOSE WE BUILD A WALL AROUND ORLANDO BLOOM'S DICK

— The Volatile Mermaid (@OhNoSheTwitnt) August 4, 2016

Hey, @realDonaldTrump, did you see the size of Orlando Bloom's hands?

— Rex Huppke (@RexHuppke) August 4, 2016

Oh. I see you Orlando Bloom pic.twitter.com/oAh4GNQXcy

— bekitahbear (@Bekitah) August 4, 2016

When u see Orlando Bloom's snausage, but you have to remain calm cuz ur at work and a professional. pic.twitter.com/qczyL5P0oj

— Bradley Traynor (@bradleytraynor) August 4, 2016

ORLANDO BLOOM IS KATY PERRY'S MANSERVANT AS HE SHOULD BE pic.twitter.com/rkRv44anPM

— Lauren Duca (@laurenduca) August 3, 2016

Katy said to Orlando "bitch you better show your dick I need that promo to Rise" 💀

— *ᶜᵃʳˡᵒˢ* (@cxwho__) August 3, 2016

In addition to a swarm of people fully convinced they were the first person to think of the "in full Bloom" pun, Twitter also had plenty of people willing to fall on the sword of jokes built solely on the name of Katy Perry's current single, "Rise."

It's no wonder Katy Perry's new song is called 'Rise' 🍆 #orlandobloom

— kieran waterhouse-benfield (@Kieranizer) August 4, 2016

Maybe Orlando did it to get some attention off the #RISE music video coming veruhhhh soon 🌚

— M Ξ L L Λ N Ξ Y (she/her) (@melkatymiley) August 4, 2016

Now I know why Katy Perry called her new song 'Rise'.

LOOK I MADE AN ORLANDO BLOOM DICK JOKE.

— Liam Murphy (@liamwaterloo) August 4, 2016

me after finding out why orlando bloom is trending pic.twitter.com/LOploHaXet

— daniel nodar 🐬✡️🗿 (@epDannyEdge) August 4, 2016

But you're just here for some general roasting action, aren't you? Sorry. Here you go:

*Clicks the orlando bloom trend* pic.twitter.com/fk3cA1gLLQ

— Hayley Williams (@hayleywi11iams) August 4, 2016

Saw Orlando Bloom's peen. Some things are better left to the imagination.

— Nicholas Kusnir (@NicholasKThinks) August 4, 2016

Can your penis get a sunburn? Asking for a friend*

*my friend is Orlando Bloom.

— The Levine Machine (@Eitanthegoalie) August 4, 2016

My new improv team "Orlando Bloom's Penis Shadow" is currently accepting applications. pic.twitter.com/aIbn6iCRqD

— Benjamin Siemon (@BenjaminJS) August 4, 2016

Stay strong, Twitter.

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