Disney Is Looking to Hire a Counter-Terrorism Intern

Applicants must know how to use Microsoft Office and the internet. Language skills are a plus.

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Complex Original

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The Disney nostalgia machine is in full swing thanks to new clips of Robin Williams voicing Genie, a sequel to everyone's favorite animated superhero film on the way, and an entire theme park dedicated to your tween Star Wars obsession slated for construction in Orlando. But the company's new internship position doesn't exactly evoke warm, fuzzy feelings.

Disney doesn't need any more princesses or pirates. Instead, it's in search of a counter-terrorism intern, Quartz reports—the position's official title is "Global Intelligence Analyst Intern." Sadly for all aspiring CIA agents the posting on Disney's site has since been taken down, but one lucky twenty-something joined Disney's “Counter Threat” team, which "provides strategic intelligence, threat assessments, vulnerability mitigation strategies and in-depth analytical products covering existing and developing threats that include counter terrorism, physical threats, cyber-attacks and all reputational risks to TWDC, its affiliated business units, facilities, guests and employees."

The job sounds heavy duty, but its requirements are pretty basic: Applicants must be able to use Microsoft Office, and they have to know how to use the Internet. Language skills and international travel experience are a plus. The position actually makes sense given Disneyland's and Walt Disney World's statuses as no-fly zones. The restriction was slipped into a bill in 2003 and never lifted, meaning advertisers can't fly banners over Disney parks. 

Whoever the Global Intelligence Analyst Intern might be, let's hope they're busy protecting Cinderella's castle, Universal Studios, and Splash Mountain. Our childhoods depend on it. 

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