There's Now a Parody Twitter Account Dedicated to the Woman Unfortunate Enough to Sit Next to Kim Davis

The infamous Kim Davis, currently not understanding how the law works while spewing ridiculousness in jail, has impacted the lives of many.

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Complex Original

Image via Complex Original

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If you thought that locking upKentucky's loudest homophobic idiot Kim Davis would do anything as far as silencing the baffling debate surrounding her legal obligation to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples, then the past few days have likely been very disappointing for you. The media circus generally reserved for anything Donald Trump does has now temporarily relocated to Kentucky, placing its finest performers on national display:

Wow #KimDavis supporters looks exactly as I imagined them. pic.twitter.com/8dSopE3uIK

— Hanuman Welch (@HanumanWelch) September 3, 2015

However, one largely ignored victim of this ongoing debacle is the woman unfortunate enough to sit next to Kim Davis. As shown in the clip above, this woman mourns in relative silence as ringleader Davis fields questions she can't actually answer from people she clearly despises. What can fellow Americans do for this victimized desk dweller? Is there any hope for the woman sitting next to Kim Davis?

Enter this hero:

As you might expect, the gems from @nexttokimdavis are seemingly endless. The account has remained consistently active since appearing on September 1, currently amassing more than 50,000 followers. The auteur behind this brilliant scheme is currently unknown, which is absolutely fine because it's a great deal more fun to just imagine these coming from the actual woman sitting next to Kim Davis:

Lost and founds. Sometimes @marshalls https://t.co/VWFGi2koIC

— Formerly next to Kim Davis (@nexttokimdavis) September 4, 2015

We're in fucking charge now, #KimDavis, and EVERYONE GETS TO WEAR JEANS!!!

— Formerly next to Kim Davis (@nexttokimdavis) September 4, 2015

I DIDN'T REALIZE YOU WERE IN CHARGE OF THAT https://t.co/u46dlTiMxw

— Formerly next to Kim Davis (@nexttokimdavis) September 4, 2015

#KimDavis will be out by Monday. No way she's not going to fuck up my barbecue.

— Formerly next to Kim Davis (@nexttokimdavis) September 4, 2015

.@IStandwKimDavis have fun standing in prison. I'll sit on the couch with a glass o white zin, @TimGunn and my first husband. #halfdayfriday

— Formerly next to Kim Davis (@nexttokimdavis) September 4, 2015

.@margaretcho No problem. But she's going to want her son to be ring bearer BECAUSE HE FUCKING WORKS HERE, TOO

— Formerly next to Kim Davis (@nexttokimdavis) September 3, 2015

.@GovMikeHuckabee ONE WEEK OF #KimDavis EATING YOUR PB&J OUT OF THE FRIDGE AND YOU'D SEND HER TO SIBERIA. TRUST ME.

— Formerly next to Kim Davis (@nexttokimdavis) September 3, 2015

Thank you, Internet God. For more Kentucky fuckery, look no further than the clip below:

 

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