Charlie Sheen Offers Up Defense, Makes Things Worse for Brian Williams

The last person you want on your side.

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Image via Complex Original
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Life is already rough enough for Brian Williams after his faulty memory earned him a six-month suspension without pay. He could use as many people on his side as he can get if he's ever going to take back his chair. There's an exception, though, and that exception is Charlie Sheen

The actor known for his cocaine use, history of violence, and porn star belt notches has come to the defense of the once-lauded news anchor. His strange Twitter rant comes in the form of what appears to be a poem and features the kind of delusional hot takes only a man who described his public meltdown as "winning" could make.

Here's Sheen's prose in full: 


Dear Mr. Williams,

Sorry to bother you during this most surreal, unjust

and mercurial moment in

your awesome life.



First off,

THANK YOU,

for 24 years of inimitable 

professionalism and top

shelf brilliance,

as a stone cold 

passion driven and 

(PERFECTLY) fact based journalist.



Secondly,

Thank you "squared"

for delivering not only the news on a nightly basis,

(PERFECTLY)

to myself and my family.

But for every other person alive,

(with a TV)

who relied 

and still do,

on your poetic, insightful 

and NOBLE sacrifices,

that made our longest nights

shorter,

and our shortest nights

safer.

You good sir, 

are a hero in my

"Entire Library"



Lastly;

you are clearly the victim of 

a transparent and vile

witch hunt!

Erroneously

"staged" by hooligans,

non coms, cowards and

oligarchs,

who's only 

desperate and

hideous goal is to discredit

the genius that they relied 

on for almost 3 decades!



Now and forever you

are a true Patriot and a Hero

of mine 

until the day i leave this 

star crossed imperfect

Rock we call Earth...



Mr W:

respect

love

hi 5's

and refuge!

(if you need it!)

I remain humbly

and on 

dangerous standby

at your service....



I am;

the MaSheen....

Somewhere Williams is saying, "Thanks, but no thanks, MaSheen."

1.

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