Rejoice, fellow bros: The moment we've all been waiting for just got one step closer.
The first trailer for the Entourage Feature Film, which the critic elite claim nobody wanted, but, as we know, everybody needed, just dropped. And it is glorious. For me, someone who thinks the show's sophomore season is all-time classic TV but is willing to admit the last two seasons were a progressive dive off DudeBro Mountain, the movie's first tease offers enough assurance for now. Maybe it'll be fun for fans but ultimately nonessential, like Veronica Mars. Maybe it'll make season eight look Emmy-worthy in hindsight. Or maybe, just maybe, creator Doug Ellin and the boys, armed with music supervisor god Scott Vener on the soundtrack will deliver a banger that takes us back to the brief period when Entourage wasn't snob-hate bait.
In the meantime, all we have for now to tide us over until June (also when Jurassic World drops, wow 2015 is going to be lit) is this two-minute trailer. Indulge in your superfan and unpack every moment with us.
A new Vincent Chase Trash Classic™ is in the works.
1.
Entourage, the show, always waffled on what we're supposed to think of Vince's (Adrian Grenier) acting skills. Is he the next Jake Gyllenhaal? A sometimes-genius like Colin Farrell? Or absolute trash like Taylor Kitsch? The glimpse of his new—directorial!—effort, though, seems to give a definite answer.
If the overlong glimpse we get of what Doug Ellin's Instagram reveals to be Hyde is supposed to come off as anything but garbage of hilarious proportions, then the actual movie's prospects just got iffier. On the bright side, Entourage is at its best when its satirizing Hollywood instead of reveling in it. An EDM-loving, rave-going Dr. Jekyll seems like a hilarious send-up of today's unfortunate Universal Monsters-as-action-heroes climate, so, gold star for now.
Ari took the studio job, duh.
3.
You'll remember, the series ended with a bonus scene that saw Ari (Jeremy Piven) and Mrs. Ari Melissa Gold (Perrey Reeves) on vacation, enjoying his new life as a committed father and husband after he finally hung the blackberry up for good. And then he got a Mission: Impossible style upgrade from perennial Wealthy Guy guest star Alan Dale, offering him the opportunity to run Warner Bros. or whatever.
Evidently, Ari took him up on it, because why wouldn't he? Ari quitting his job and the increasing shrillness of Mrs. Ari was among the worst of the latter-series arcs. And he's still got a soft spot for the client he took from commercials to super-stardom, because apparently he financed Vince's aforementioned trash. Also one more time... Vince? Directing?!
Vince probably isn't married anymore.
4.
As a series of quick-cuts imply, none more so than Vince looking lustily at Special Cameo Emily Ratajowski, Vinny's probably back to bachelor status. Another good sign that the movie's headed in the right direction because good god was his impulse engagement to Special Guest Star Alice Eve awful.
To recap, Vince was charmed by Eve, playing a no-nonsense journalist for Vanity Fair, and her absolute indifference to his celebrity. He spent a whole two episodes convincing her to give him the time of day. Then their first date, on which he hit a homerun, is shown off camera and when he reappears, they're engaged to be married. Wifed-up Vince could've been interesting, but it's probably best to leave what was already a wafer-thin relationship on the cutting room floor.
Billy Walsh in the cut. That's a scary sight.
5.
Crazy Billy (Rhys Coiro) has been on the show since the first season. Did he wear out his welcome at times? Sure. But what would a big-screen adventure be without him?
Sloan's still around, too.
6.
It'd be even less of an authentic Entourage adventure without Eric's on-again/off-again girlfriend and dime extraordinaire, Sloan (Emmanuelle Chriqui, who's been in every season save the first). Let's just pray whatever the inevitable drama between the two of them is this time around, it doesn't hinge on breaking up and getting back together, a card that was overplayed two times too many on the show. When the series ended, she was pregnant. Is she still? Is that a Lamaze mat? Or is Eric (Kevin Connolly) a Dadd-E (sorry) already?
Turtle's trying to bag another celebrity.
The best Turtle (Jerry Ferrara) subplots are those in which the thirsty but earnest sidekick is trying to shoot out of his league for a famous beauty (not when he's trying to do more with his life via ill-conceived business deals). Remember how cute and charming his courtship of Jamie-Lynn Sigler was? It was basically the closest thing the breezy but fun sixth season had to a story arc. Now apparently he's after UFC champ Ronda Rousey, even going so far as to let her beat him up for a date. You gotta love that Sal.
The Golds are back in couples' therapy with Nora Dunn.
7.
Ugh, we couldn't have left this back in the series? At least Lloyd's (Rex Lee) back to bear the brunt of Ari's rage.
8.
Meet father-son antagonists, Billy Bob Thornton and Haley Joel Osment.
9.
Even Ari-as-studio-head still has to answer to someone, apparently. Billy Bob Thornton and Haley Joel Osment seem to be the movie's answer to the rich antagonist threatening to kill the latest Chase film. Apparently they want Drama's character cut completely, for starters. Haley Joel even produces a burner, so we know they mean business.
And here's your Mark Wahlberg cameo.
10.
Without whom none of this bromantic greatness would be possible.
Still missing: MILF studio exec extraordinaire Dana Gordon (Constance Zimmer); foul-mouthed publicist Shauna (Debi Mazar); Eric's douchey partner, Scott Lavin (Scott Caan); Eric's ill-fated first non-Vince client, Charlie (Bow Wow Shad Moss) (Why, though?); cameos from Russell Wilson, Tom Brady, Liam Neeson, and Piers Morgan (Why, though?); a subplot for Johnny Drama (Kevin Dillon); and, most glaringly, Kid Cudi as Ari's new assistant.
Until trailer #2...
Frazier Tharpe is a staff writer for Complex Pop Culture. He just dusted off the Entourage box set and called your girl over for a marathon. He tweets here.
