War Crimes: 10 Soft Shows That Have "Wars" In The Title

Baby bottoms and hospital cotton have nothing on these.

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War, what is it good for? Absolutely nothing—unless you're an unimaginative television producer, in which case it aids in the creation of titles for downy soft reality TV shows that have zilch to do with the horrors of armed conflict. Whether a series is about jelly beans or jock straps, simply tack "Wars" on after that noun and you've got a catchy name! Who isn't gonna tune in for Jelly Bean Wars?

One of the few "Wars" series that justifies its usage of the word with actual bloodshed is Animal Planet's Whale Wars, which returns Friday (April 27, 8 p.m.) with the five-part spin-off Whale Wars: Viking Shores, following environmental activist Paul Watson and the Sea Shepherd Conservation Society as they attempt to prevent "The Grind," a sanctioned Faroese summer tradition where people drive pilot whales to the shores of the Faroe Islands and slaughter them for their meat until the ocean runs red.

Bloodthirsty, blade-carrying sea folk get a pass, but there are many more suspect series that should be charged with war crimes. It's once more into the breach, dear friends, as Complex runs down 10 Soft Shows That Have "Wars" In The Title.

Written by Justin Monroe (@40yardsplash)

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10. Storage Wars (A&E, 2010-present)

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9. Parking Wars (A&E, 2008-present)

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10. Design Wars (HGTV, 2011)

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7. Sex Wars (MGM Digital Media, 2000-2001)

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6. Bartender Wars (Fine Living Network, 2009)

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5. Whisker Wars (IFC, 2011-present)

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4. Party Wars (Living TV, 2010)

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3. Wedding Wars (VH1, 2011)

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2. Dinner Party Wars (Food Network Canada, 2010-2011)

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1. Cupcake Wars (Food Network, 2010-present)

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