Katy Perry Opens Up About Her Past Suicidal Thoughts During YouTube Livestream

Katy Perry allowed fans to livestream an emotional therapy session, in which she discussed her struggles with alcohol and suicidal thoughts.

Katy Perry broke down in tears Friday night during an intense therapy session with Dr. Siri Sat Nam Singh. The emotional event was broadcasted on her YouTube livestream, Witness World Wide.

During their discussion, the 32-year-old pop singer opened up about a wide range of topics, including her family, love life, and issues with alcohol. She also discussed her past struggles with suicidal thoughts, which she was also the inspiration behind her 2013 song “By the Grace of God.”

“It’s hard because I sang it on tour, and it’s hard because I’m ashamed. Because, of course, ‘Katy Perry’s so strong,’” she said with tears in her eyes. “I feel ashamed that I would even have those thoughts, and feel that low and that depressed […] I wrote that song, ‘By the Grace of God’ because, you know, I do believe in something much bigger than me, and I call that ‘God.’”

The discussion reportedly became so emotional that Katy’s team urged her to stop filming. She decided to continue the session, in which she also talked about her identity issues. According to People, the singer said she feels torn between “Katy Perry, pop star” and “Katheryn Hudson” (her birth-given name). She explained that the former is her “dorky” dimension the public doesn’t see.

“I’m a bit more nerdy than everybody thinks I am, I’m a big goofball […] the fantasy of Katheryn went into Katy and made this bigger-than-life personality,” she said, before explaining the reason behind her drastic haircut. “I didn't want to look like Katy Perry anymore.”

You can watch clips from the therapy session above. The Witness World Wide livestream, which will broadcast Katy’s life, will continue throughout the weekend, leading up to her concert Monday in Los Angeles. The event is in support of her recently released album Witness

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