Friday night I went out drinking till 5 a.m., so heavily that Saturday all I listened to was the ringing between my ears. Sunday I awoke to discover that Jay Electronica is the best rapper alive, Taraji P. Henson is suddenly the best actor on television, and Four Cheese Pizza Hot Pockets still taste like paste, oregano, and ketchup.
It was a hangover that only hip-hop could cure.
Action Bronson f/ Chance the Rapper "Baby Blue"
Released: March 2, 2015
Action Bronson is cool, whereas Chance the Rapper is legit legendary. You hear this shit? "I hope you get a paper cut/On your tongue, from a razor in a paper cup/I hope every soda you drink already shaken up." Complex Music News Editor Lauren Nostro has pointed out to me that literally every misfortune foretold by Chance's verse is a fate more credibly intimidating, if not worse, than death at the hands of some drill rapper. "I hope the zipper on your jacket gets stuck/And your headphones short; and your charger don't work." I shudder.
Tha Dogg Pound f/ Kokane and Snoop Dogg "Skip Skip"
Released: March 3, 2015
The best rap songs are ones that only white people can't figure out how to dance to; "Skip Skip" is one of those. (Ironic props to Marty for putting me on to this, however.) G-funk, street-hop, this beat got my face screwed tighter than Suge Knight's whole life. Let this slapper further disprove the famous Cartagena Theorem, which holds that gangstas don't dance. WRONG.
The Husel (p.k.a. Musiq Soulchild) "Yeauh"
Released: March 5, 2015
Apparently I'm supposed to hate this song, but I don't hate this song, any more than I could hate Future's "Trending Topic" or Bach's Orchestral Suite No. 3. Granted, the Husel should remove that silly-ass hat, but I'm otherwise fine with Musiq Soulchild's attempting deep cover character parody of contemporary hip-hop a la Hugh Jackman via CB4. Haters just mad that Musiq Soulchild beat Lil Durk to the musical punch. Are you not entertained?
Jay Electronica "Road to Perdition"
Released: March 6, 2015
I couldn't really fuck with this song until my 10th listen, on Sunday afternoon, when I sat back and ROFL-copter'd at his viscerally precise use of the word "dickhead" and his brazen lament that white women love him whereas black women say he's ugly. Typically we'd tag that latter bitching as #problematic, if only Jay Electronica weren't an invincible myth who literally defies time. "Road to Perdition" is no "Better in Tune With the Infinite," however.
Game f/ Meek Mill "Soundtrack"
Released: March 6, 2015
For whatever neurochemical reason, Meek is one of the few rappers who can hop on a track with Game without getting his flow unsubtly jacked. (Seriously, even J. Cole ain't safe around Jayceon.) (N.B., Game's guest-free, default impersonation is Nas.) Think of "Soundtrack" as Game and Meek's apocalyptically jazzy sequel to Game and Ross' "Ali Bomaye," timely because I've been rinsing Blood Money from my palate for a few months now, "Or Nah" and "Trouble" withstanding.
