Don't Talk to Him: The Stupidest Things Paparazzi Have Asked Kanye West

Stop apologizing, it doesn't help.

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Complex Original

Image via Complex Original

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Yes, well, Kanye West backed up his "go and grab the reporters/so I can smash their recorders" line from "New Slaves" last week at LAX. Reportedly, he could face charges for attempted robbery after trying to grab the camera from the overzealous paparazzo he ended up wrestling to the ground. It was sad, revealing poetry when, after the struggle, the cameraman ran away and tried to hide his face from other paparazzi.

We here at Complex enjoy celebrity culture. And we support aggressive reporting. That said, we'll note, without being the first to do so, that today's TMZ-style paparazzi are disgusting parasite barnacle-humans, and we wonder what kind of crazy conscience-erasing drugs they need to take in order to sleep at night. We also wonder whether they're on these same kinds of drugs when they approach their quarry, and struggle to come up with the exact perfect question to ask in order to turn a head or elicit a response.

Because, Jesus, are they stupid! How stupid? This stupid: The Stupidest Things Paparazzi Have Asked Kanye West. Check it out. You'll want to tell them to never talk ever again, too, not even to themselves. 

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"Kanye, you face one of the most agonizing decisions all day long and that's what to order at The Cheesecake Factory. There's about 4000 items on that menu, how did you come up with the decision? Was it meat or fish? Pasta?"

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"So, how was breakfast Kanye?"

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"Hey Kanye! What are you doing attacking photographers, man?"

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"What's your opinion on OJ getting nine years?"

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"Kanye there were no nude pictures of you on the internet?...Kanye, so what about those pictures?"

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"If you could sin with somebody, who would it be?"

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"What do you think of Chris Brown and Rihanna?...Hey Kanye, why don't you get out and get aggressive?"

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"What you think about Etta James trying to beat up Beyonce or something?"

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"We wanna stay on your good graces but I gotta know your opinion on South Park?"

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"Are you a gay fish?"

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"Kanye did you get refused entry to a fashion show? Or is that BS?"

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"What about all your model girlfriends, man? Are you the new playboy of the western world?"

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"Hear any wedding bells lately?...I want to be a Mason like you!"

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"Kim, did you know Reggie is here having dinner? Did you want to go congratulate him on his pregnancy?"

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"Everything cool? Hey sorry about the paparazzi giving you a hard time yesterday, Kanye."

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