Trump's 'Election Integrity' Commission Flooded With Gloriously Profane Emails

The commission even got hit with a well-deserved Goatse.

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Image via Flickr/Gage Skidmore
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Are we still calling it the White House? You know, that place in D.C. where the guy from the Apprentice lives part-time and tweets from the toilet? That's the White House, right? That's hard to determine definitively, but the same team that brought you "I could stand in the middle of 5th Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn't lose voters" and "I thought it would be easier" is back with their latest act of nation-eroding fuckery, this time complete with an overwhelming helping of irony.

Trump, of all fucking people, started an "election integrity" commission via executive order back in May for reasons that are simply too stupid to mention here. The commission then asked for states to hand over voter registration info such as names, party affiliations, addresses, and the last four digits of each voter's Social Security number. Multiple states, of course, have refused to do so.

This week, the Hill reports, the Apprentice House said "any member of the public" could provide comments for the commission's consideration via email. Simultaneously, the commission—chaired by Vice Asshole Mike "Mother" Pence—unloaded a bunch of comments they had already received between Jun. 29 and July 11. Amazingly, many of the published emails still have the sender's name and other personal information still attached.

The first 112-page batch of emails is thankfully loaded with well-structured vulgarities and general dismissals of the entire Trump administration. To save you some time, I've compiled a list of some of my favorite words, phrases, and expressions included in emails to the hilariously named "election integrity" commission. Enjoy:

  • Please go fuck yourself
  • President Pussygrabber
  • Christian henchmen
  • shit-stain
  • fuck off
  • I voted in all 50 states
  • Sent from my iPad
  • stupid fucks
  • assholes
  • stupid mean fucking assholes
  • go fuck yourself
  • fuck each and every one of you
  • dumbass pieces of shit
  • fucking disgrace
  • go straight to hell
  • despicable pieces of dogshit
  • considerable ass
  • I know you will agree because I know how white you are
  • Hey White Supremacist hotshot!

Also, because I know you're asking, the email address was indeed met with a classic case of Goatse

By all means, keep flooding their inbox. Just keep in mind that any information you submit will, apparently, end up published by the Apprentice House for everyone to see.

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