11 of Reddit's Best/Worst Roommate Stories

You think dirty dishes are bad? Imagine having a roommate who hides cups of pee.

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Complex Original

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Given stagnant wages and the rising cost of rent, more and more young people are living with roommates, In fact, according to real estate site Zillow, only nine percent of 23- to 34-year-olds live alone. The rest are making a home with relatives and roommates. And, as anyone with a roommate knows, trying to combine lives and lifestyles with another person can be difficult, frustrating and sometimes gross. Complex combed Reddit to find it's worst roommates stories. Here are 11 that would make us break the lease. 

The Shower Masturbator - 1771s

“Hey, so I live in a 4 Bedroom apartment with 4 guys and we all have separate rooms. One of my roommates I know masturbates in the shower and bathroom because sometimes he does a shit job cleaning up after himself and we can smell/see it. I think he should just fap in his room cuz we all have our own and think its kinda nasty for him to do it the shared bathroom, but idk.”

TP Thief - Demonfizz

“I had a roommate who absolutely refused to buy toilet paper. After weeks of her stealing ours, the other 3 of us started hiding it so she would be forced to buy her own. Instead, she started taking heaps of napkins from restaurants and stealing rolls of our paper towels. One night we all went out to dinner, came home, and the entire basement was flooded because she backed up the toilet with god only knows how much shit that shouldn't ever be flushed. That and she would keep piles of old food laying around her room...never did laundry...most disgusting human being I've ever met.”

The Sticky Note Gangster - petrilstatusfull

“I had a roommate who would (attempt to) leave unjustified scathing, passive-aggressive notes for just everyone: our apartment neighbors, cars parked outside, and even our landlady. The kind of notes with overly-polite language, underlines, and randomly capitalized words. Always written in red marker. Always rude enough to get the shit beaten out of her. Always signed from both of us. I spent that year following her around and removing the notes as quickly and quietly as possible.”

The Magician - superfrankii

“I lived with a magician. Of the many moments, the odd one that I remember vividly was when he was about to leave the country for near about 2 months. Before he left (hours before going the airport) he filled the freezer with whole chickens. Then got really upset when we ate them to free up space.”

The Disney Villain - LoooveCommando

“I had a roommate in college who could only fall asleep if he watched Disney movies at night. I had to listen to them every night for hours trying to sleep. And I now hate the Lion King with the passion of a thousand burning suns.”

The Neatfreak - I_dont_kidd

“A friend of mine needed a roommate in a house where he already held a lease. I moved in and paid him rent instead of adding my name to the lease. I lived there for about three months and it was great. He was always cleaning, literally always. It seemed pretty great until I came home from work one day. There was a pink note stuck to the front door that said we were being evicted because we hadn't paid rent in three months. Turns out that cleaning was what he liked to do while high on meth. It all worked out though. I talked with the landlady and she kicked him out and I took over the lease.”

The Dish Dodger - raemoondoe

“My roommate once asked for the place to herself for a romantic evening with a chef she was dating. He made her a huge seafood dinner. When I came home the next day, there was a huge pile of dishes in the sink. Her reasoning: it was my turn to do dishes. We fought about it for days, as the lobster pot and all accompanying dishes stunk up the joint. In the end, I did them because I no longer could tolerate the smell. She moved out shortly, thereafter.”

The Trumpeter - mfwater

“I lived with a guy who drank rum like water and played the trumpet. But that's just the beginning. Although he couldn't play the trumpet. He would play the theme to "The Flintstones" but always got stuck on one note, I wanted to take a shovel to the trumpet right at the moment he would mess it up, put us both out of our misery.”

The Mathematician - socializm_forda_ppl

“Old roommie got shitfuck drunk while my girlfriend and I were a town over visiting some friends. We ended up coming home late night (maybe 3am) so we could sleep in my bed. I walk up to the door of my apt and it is wide open with blood smeared on the door. My gf starts to freak out and runs back to the car so I can go in solo. So with my tire iron in hand I walk in all stealthy like and am looking around searching, about to pee my pants. After searching the place high and low I find my roommate naked on my bed so drunk he's barely responsive and urine all over my sheets. He has a cut on his arm that's bled on the floor and my bed as well and he microwaved my TI-92 calculator for some fucking reason. Never got that new calculator”

The Bedpan - Sippysippy13

“I noticed that our drinking glasses would go missing from time to time. Cleaning up the house one day I found one of the glasses under my roommate's bed, full to the brim with urine. He was too lazy to get out of bed at night to use the bathroom, so would periodically use the communal drinking glasses. We lived together for three years before I figured that out.”

The Iceman - ta2dsailor

“My Navy A-school roommate traded my waffle iron for a six-pack of Smirnoff Ice while I was at the movies. He "was so hammered" he couldn't remember who he gave the waffle iron to. Karmic realignment - after he failed out of the school, he got completely blackout drunk his last night and while he was in the bathroom, bent over and unswallowing everything, I swept his legs and he went face-first into the bowl. In retrospect it was pretty stupid - he could have cracked his head open and drowned, but I hadn't had waffles for a week and I wasn't thinking clearly.”

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