What an endlessly cheerful world we live in! Everyone is capable of forgiving each other, though we thankfully never have to use that ability due to the fact that we never intentionally inflict emotional anguish on a fellow human being. We’re all just so damn nice and loyal. Shit, life here on Earth is like a hella G-rated family sitcom. Ha! Writing bullshit is fun. The truth is everyone is pretty terrible and we have chronic cheating-ass dudes to prove it.
According to a fresh survey posted by our most cherished survey providers at the Mirror, the top reasons cheating-ass hetero dudes give their wives when leaving the house for a quick act of cheating are… really lame!?!? Sitting pretty at the top of the excuses list is "playing golf." The study, conducted by IllicitEncounters.com (which is exactly what you think), found that 34 percent of these cheaters use golf as their go-to excuse.
To arrive at these startling revelations, researchers hit up 2,000 men who were apparently willing to reveal the excuses they use most. Elsewhere, equally lame excuses like joining friends for a drink and SHOPPING FOR GROCERIES made strong showings. Come on! Also, as displayed in the photo at the top of this article, a dead giveaway for a cheating-ass dude is the practice of wearing cheap quarter socks in bed.
Peep the top excuses below while relentlessly shaking your head:
- Playing golf with your lame friends (34 percent)
- Business meeting at your lame job (27 percent)
- Other, presumably also lame (17 percent)
- Grabbing a drink with those aforementioned lame friends (13 percent)
- Going to the gym with your lame self (5 percent)
- Shopping for groceries, which isn't all that lame but is a terrible excuse (4 percent)
Now watch this drive.
