There's an embarrassing number of people throughout the world who get little to no sex ed. What's even more embarrassing are some of the beliefs we end up holding as a result. In a recent Reddit thread, MrBlaziken999 asked, "People who didn't take sex ed, what was something you had to learn the hard way?" Let's just say the answers will make you feel better about worrying you would go blind from masturbation as a kid. Here are some of the funniest things people actually once thought about sex before they got woke.
1. That pubes are a deformity
"I was convinced I was a Neanderthal that somehow [skipped] generations, and I was the only person to have this monstrosity," wrote Kativan88. Turns out that if nobody warns you about it, suddenly growing hair on your genitals is pretty alarming.
2. That periods are a one-time thing
"I didn't learn until a senior in high school that a girl's period lasted longer than one day," said holymacaronibatman. CocoaBagelPuffs didn't even realize they came every month. "I thought it was a one and done kind of thing," they said.
If only.
3. That you invented masturbation
Residentsleeperagent started masturbating before they'd heard of the practice, so they thought it was their own invention. But instead of thinking about trademarking it, they just felt weird about the whole thing. "I didn't know what it was and cried a bit," they said.
4. That masturbation just means watching porn
"I remember reading someone's post about how they didn't know how to masturbate and thought it was just watching porn," wrote Epicdemic93. "They watched it until their dick was so hard it started to hurt." Hey, there's something to be said for delayed gratification.
5. That sex is basically just grinding
"Always thought you just rubbed the parts together like spreading peanut butter onto some bread," said CrazedMaze. There'd probably be a lot of unintended pregnancies initiated on dance floors if this were the case.
6. That the term "blow job" is literal
ColonialChicken learned the hard way that "one of the quickest ways to get a guy to never, ever speak to you again is to grab his dick and blow on it like you're inflating a Walmart-brand air mattress." We can't really blame them, given the name of the act. Where did we even get that term? The literal opposite phrase is "suck play," and that's far more accurate.
7. That you can't have an erection and then not have sex
This one's actually pretty scary: Alybank thought that "if a guy got hard, there was no other way to get him unhard unless he climaxed"—and that it was their duty to make sure this happened. Fortunately, their boyfriend explained that this was not the case.
8. That your period means you're pregnant
When Amandalynn0905 first got their period, all their mom said was, "you can get pregnant now." So, they thought menstruation was a sign of a potential pregnancy and had a pregnancy scare every month for three years before learning that sex was a thing.
9. That you stay completely still during sex
Even if you do have sex ed, the most you'll probably learn about sex is that the penis goes in the vagina—but nobody tells you that it goes back out again. "I didn't know about the in-out part until I found video porn," said ch0keArtist. "I thought you just put it in and left it there." Well, that's at least one thing porn is good for.
So basically, better sex ed would stop a lot of people from freaking out based on false information. In the meantime, though, at least we can all laugh at their freakouts.
